What is "Normal"?

What is Normal?

Normal. This is the first word that I thought of when this essay topic was presented to me. This is one word that has always made me stop and think, “what does that really mean?” There’s no doubt that the definition can be found in any dictionary; however, that definition can be subject to interpretation. What exactly does it mean?

In my opinion “normal” is used much too often and freely. It is utilized most often to describe behaviors and actions, as well as people. There is no definitive way to describe “normal”; it tends to be used as a judgment or comparison of one to another rather than a description. It is very subjective and is viewed differently by different people.

According to www.dictionary.com, normal is defined as “conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural”. Personally, I disagree with this definition. I wonder how a group of people, particularly worldwide, can agree with what “the standard or common type” is. Does majority rule the standard type? There seems to be no baseline. Is “normal” based on culture, geography, and intelligence? If the majority of people shaved their heads bald I think that many people would not consider that to be normal. What a particular society is accustomed to is likely the idea behind “normal”. Each individual is unique, as well as each idea; therefore, every person’s views are unique.

In my personal experience “normal” has been used as a comparison: while one is normal, the other is not. For example, there is one person in my life that uses this word much too liberally and too frequently for my comfort level. She has a tendency to use this word to compare my children to me. When my children are running around she has no problem saying, “They’re so busy! You weren’t like that – you were “normal”. My son is extremely bright, so she doesn’t consider him to be normal, but not in a negative way. To her, “average” intelligence is considered normal. I don’t think of it that way. I feel that “normal” can sound pessimistic.
I often wonder if in fact my children are normal and I was not. Is it abnormal to be a quiet child who prefers to sit down and read rather than run around outside? Is it normal for a 5 week old to sleep through the night?

Growing up in a household with deaf parents was normal for me. Many of my friends didn’t understand my upbringing and how it could be a normal way to be brought up. I wouldn’t say that it was normal, in the traditional sense of the word, but it was my normal. Not being able to call my parents on the telephone, for example, was my normal. Most households didn’t have flashing lights for doorbells or phones, as mine did. Many homes that I visited had stereo systems and played music regularly; they also didn’t have closed captioning on their televisions. Flipping a light switch to get my parents’ attention, or banging my foot on the floor so that they would feel the vibration and look in my direction, was my normal. This was a normal way of life for me; this was how I was raised. Many other people considered this to be out of the ordinary and abnormal.

I was also raised using sign language. It may have quite possibly been my first language. I really don’t know for sure, but nevertheless, many of my peers would consider that out of the ordinary. It wasn’t for me. It was what I knew and this was how I was able to communicate with my parents. Sign language was the language of my home, as French or Spanish may be the language of many households in our region. This was my normal.

Growing up, I wanted to be like other kids; I thought other kids were normal because their parents could hear. I wished that I were like everybody else, for my parents to not be deaf. As I matured I realized that my family may be in the minority, but that didn’t mean we weren’t “normal”. Each family has its own sense of normalcy, and nobody has the right to compare or judge that, including myself.

While looking through the thesaurus on Microsoft ® Word the words that are synonymous with “normal” are: usual, regular, standard, ordinary, typical, customary, common, average, natural, habitual, routine and conventional. Again, all of the words listed above may have various meanings to different people.

I thought it would be interesting to find out what other people’s idea of “normal” is. I asked a few friends what their own personal definition of “normal” is. The following are some of the replies that I received: “normal = the way society as a whole thinks you should act/feel for any given situation.” Another reiterated this thought with, “I think "normal " is society's idea of what's acceptable. ” Someone else's comment was “I don’t think normal should be a defined word. Nothing is ever normal, and everyone’s definition of normal is different.”

According to a relative of mine, “Normal is whatever someone has become accustomed to. What is normal to one person may not be normal to the next. It can depend on where someone has grown up, what religion they practice, what experiences they have had.”

I will always question the use of “normal”, and when I say this I find myself using air quotes. Normal is what each person perceives as customary for him or her. Unfortunately, unless the mindset changes, society will continue to use this term to judge and compare others.

So.... What is your "normal"?